Tug-of-War

Cutting into my Welcome Back cake!

 In my last blog post before I went back to Michigan in November of 2015, I wrote about the meaning of “home.”  Coming back to Honduras a couple weeks ago gave me a whole new appreciation for what it means to come home, and what a joyful homecoming it has been!  How beautiful to have my host mom greet me with a warm embrace and to share happy tears with me!  How comforting to settle back into my room and to know where to put everything as I unpacked in my sleep-deprived stupor!  How heart-warming to have students run exuberantly toward me, shouting “Miss Amy” as they wrapped their arms around me!  Oh, indeed, it has been so good to be back in Honduras and to know where I fit in the puzzle of life here!

With some of the teachers and friends from Michigan

So, if I fit into the puzzle of life here, why am I going back to Michigan so soon?  Three weeks have passed all too quickly, and having just five left does not seem like enough time.  And, these are not just my sentiments, but those of everyone around me.  Students, teachers, and the ministry’s directors almost daily fill my ears with, “Why do you have to go so soon?”  and “What are we going to do without you?”  It’s so easy to get caught up in this flood of appreciation and feeling needed, and I find myself daily having to turn to God for his guidance and direction for my life.  Like I’ve said to so many people, I feel like my heart is in the middle of a tug-of-war game—Michigan vs. Honduras—and either team could win!  While here listening to the pleas from Team Honduras, I must not forget that back in Michigan, there is an even bigger team routing for me, and their voices matter too.

I'm so glad to have this cute elf on my Michigan team!

We all face uncertain futures, but I feel like I’m at a point where I really need to set aside my own desires and to discern God’s will for me.  Should I stay longer in Honduras, and if so, how much longer?  Should I return to Michigan as planned, and if so, where will I find employment? I’m praying for God to make it absolutely clear in which direction my next steps will take me.  Will you please join me in praying for guidance?  Thank you…your prayers mean so much!

"In this great time of change, help me, God of tomorrow, to trust your guiding presence.  Inspire me to follow in the footsteps of the ancient desert nomads who wore tiny lamps on their shoes to give just enough light for the next step.  All I really need."

Be Careful What you Long for: A Glimpse into Retirement

With my sisters and dad at the airport!  What a great homecoming!

A couple of years ago as I was working more than 40 hours per week in a stressful, fast paced job while going to graduate school and also trying to keep up with a house, family, and friends, I remember thinking how wonderful it would be to be retired.  I envisioned the endless possibilities that would stretch before me with each unscheduled, unplanned day, one right after the other.  I could sleep in or get up early, go for a walk, or just curl up and read all morning.  I dreamed of spending my afternoons volunteering somewhere, shopping, visiting friends and family, or cooking up a storm in my kitchen.  What bliss!

Family Christmas

In some ways, this period of time since returning from Honduras and before going back, has been a little bit like a mini-retirement period.  No job, no school, no schedule, and lots of time to relax with family and friends!  Sounds great, right?  Well, what never occurred to me in my ideal vision of retirement, however, is how my body would be feeling at that stage in life.  Unfortunately and unexpectedly I have had a taste of what that may be like, too!  This is thanks to the fact that a little mosquito decided to oh-so-generously share with me a virus called Chikungunya.

Family Christmas

Chikungunya is similar to Dengue fever and is transmitted by the Aedes mosquito.  I was bitten just before I flew home to Michigan and within a few days after arrival, I became sick.  I had all of the classic symptoms:  painful, stiff, sore, swollen, and achey joints, weakness, a fever, and an all-over body rash.  Thankfully the fever, rash, and swollen joints were pretty much gone after a week, but, as is typical with Chikungunya, the painful, stiff, sore, and achey joints and weakness have lingered.  I have read that this part of the virus can continue to rear its ugly head for anywhere from two months to a year with the aches coming and going and attacking different joints at different times.  

At the Jubilee Celebration Event with friends!

This experience has certainly given me a whole new appreciation for raised toilet seats, grab bars, and stair railings!  I am also very thankful for my background in therapy since, depending on what’s hurting me at any given time, I have to modify how I get dressed or get back up from the floor!  My therapy background also has helped me to keep things in perspective and remind me that what I’m dealing with is so very minor compared to what so many other people face.  Nevertheless, it has been a bit frustrating to not be able to move around as I am accustomed to doing!

Besides growing in empathy, perhaps having a stiff, painful body has also forced me to slow down and rest more than I might have done otherwise during this season.  I am so grateful for the quality time I’ve shared with family and friends, the freedom to go for walks and to go shopping, and for the stretches of unplanned time that have been filled with cooking, reading, and crocheting!  This early “retirement” has been a gift, but I am looking forward to getting back to work…and to sunshine and warmth!  See you in a couple weeks, Honduras!

A little crochet project

My walking partner, Tora

Thoughts before Heading Home

You who know me know that I’m a bit of a word nerd.  As I reflected on what exactly I mean by “home,” I confess that I turned to the dictionary.  The definition that struck me the most was the use of “home” as a verb: “(of an animal) to return by instinct to its territory after leaving it.”  I started to envision myself as a homing pigeon preparing for its return flight with a message tied to its leg!  That makes me laugh!  But, my serious side can’t help but wonder, what does that message tied to my leg say?  Surprisingly, no words come to mind, and I realize that the message I’ll be bringing won’t be spoken with words.  Like a butterfly’s wings, it will slowly unfold and brush gently against your cheek as a breeze, discernible only if you seek it out.  

This isn’t to say that I won’t be coming home with lots of stories to tell; I assure you, I have MANY!  But, the message isn’t really in the stories; it’s hidden in my heart and whispers of how God has shaped me throughout this year by stretching me, growing me, and teaching me oh so many things!  Even I have so much more to discover about what my message is, and I know that it will be revealed to me as I settle back into life at home.

But, still, what does home mean?  In my life I’ve learned that one part of making a place feel like home is having my stuff there!  It’s also the place where I lay down my head at night. Above all else however, it’s the place where I am surrounded by friends and family—even when they’re not my biological family.  It’s the place where I am loved, accepted, and included in all of the inside jokes!  Praise God, I have encountered all of these aspects of home here in Honduras.  I have a community, I have friends, I have a family—I have a home here.  Never has this been more evident to me than at this time of saying goodbyes. 

In one of my first blog posts, I wrote, “I am so thankful for painful goodbyes because they signify my ability to love others deeply and to be loved in return.  What greater blessing exists?”  The events of this past year have come full circle.  As I count down my last days in Honduras, I find myself in the same situation of having to say painful goodbyes, and they remind me of how I have grown to love so many precious people here.  And, of how I have been loved in return.  Thank you, Jesus!

God has been faithful with the promise he spoke to me before I left Michigan to come here: “The Lord has done great things for us; we are glad.  Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!  He who goes out weeping bearing the seed for sowing, shall come home with shouts of joy, bringing his sheaves with him” (Psalm 126:3, 5-6). I am absolutely so excited to be coming home with shouts of joy!  I will be carrying my sheaves with me in my heart as precious treasures waiting to be carefully unwrapped and discovered.  Thank you God for blessing me so richly this year!

Different: Michigan vs. Honduras Part II

I'm sure I'll discover more differences during my last week here, but these will suffice for now!  Once again, I don't really have corresponding pictures, so I threw in some random ones!  Enjoy!

This little red hen is smart for a reason!

1. When you arrive at work, church, etc, or are leaving, you must acknowledge everyone around you with the customary cheek-to-cheek air kiss and hug; it would be rude not to.  
2. If you are part of a church community here, it is how you spend most of your time outside of work with events nearly every night of the week and parts of Saturday and Sunday, too!  At least, that is what I’ve heard from many of the teachers with whom I work!
3. Food here is packaged differently.  Milk comes in shelf-stable boxes, or is sold in bags in the refrigerator section.  You can buy bottled water, but most people buy it in 12 oz. bags; it’s not uncommon to see people walking around or sitting at a desk with bags of water hanging from their mouths.  Condiments like ketchup, mustard, and mayonnaise are not sold in bottles; they are sold in bags.  The brand name varieties have a re-sealable cap on the bag at least!
4. Every school here, whether public or private, has its own uniform for students to wear.
5. Bilingual (Spanish and English) schools are very common here.  I wish they were in Michigan, too!
6. It’s totally normal for vendors to stroll or parade in trucks up and down the neighborhood streets shouting out what they’re selling, ringing bells, or muttering through loudspeakers.  While this is a convenient way to buy anything from fruit and vegetables to toilet paper and soap, the noise can be very disrupting!  It’s like the ice cream truck on steroids!

   

   Excuse me while I herd my cattle down the street!

7. I think it’s safe to say that big city-dwellers in MI typically do not have farm animals at home.  Here, however, it’s not uncommon for people to have not only chickens, but cattle and horses.  What better way to get around the crowded streets than on horseback?
8. Trying to get just about anything done here takes at least twice as long.  You need a carpenter to come fix a piece of furniture?  Plan to call him for several weeks or months before he makes it over to do the work.  You need to buy new bathroom fixtures?  Don’t plan on the store having what you want in stock or even being able to get it shipped in time.  The only business I’ve witnessed provide good service is our internet provider.  I am thankful for that! 
9. In Michigan, the power goes out because of a storm with high winds or because of an ice storm.  Here it just goes out for apparently no reason.  Just like with the water, I think a higher power enjoys cutting off the power at random.  Sometimes it is off for a good chunk of the day.  Tonight, as I write, it’s been on and off all evening, and while talking with my host parents, I learned why: we are on the same circuit as the news station that broadcasts the TRUTH about the corrupt Honduran government, so whenever something has been going on that they don’t want publicized, they turn off the power so the station can’t broadcast their reports!  WOW!
10. I remember learning in Spanish classes that even body language can be different in other cultures.  Here it is considered very rude to point with your finger, so instead you use your lips.  Yup, your lips.  It’s like you’re puckering up to kiss someone, but it’s a quick gesture in the direction of the person or object you’re indicating while raising your eyebrows at the same time.  If your mouth is busy eating, use your elbow or your head, but never your finger!

    

    My dear dad received a lesson in hand washing his clothes!

11. Laundry:  I think it’s safe to say that the majority of people in Michigan have access to washers and dryers even if it means just within their apartment building.  Of course, some people do have to go to the laundromat, too.  Here, however, very few people have washing machines, and almost no one has a dryer.  What just about everyone does have, though, is a pila, a water holding tank and scrub sink combo for hand washing clothes.  Not only is this the way most Hondurans wash their clothes, they actually prefer to wash their clothes this way, swearing that it gets the clothes so much cleaner.  Perhaps stranger still, many women I have talked to sincerely enjoy the process of hand washing their clothes.  Now that I’ve been hand washing my own clothes for quite a few months, I have to agree on both accounts: my clothes are cleaner, and there’s just something satisfying about the process of hand washing them!  Now, if I had to wash clothes for a whole family, I think I’d feel differently….!
12. Basic medical care:  no matter what ails you, here, there is an injection for that.  And, you can probably buy the injection at your local pharmacy without a prescription and have someone at home give it to you. If you have a cold, you absolutely should not drink or eat anything cold, no matter how hot it is outside.  Of course, I’m a rebel, and I do it anyway!  Thankfully, I am not well acquainted with the medical care here, but when I went to a neighborhood clinic to get drops for an ear infection, my whole visit plus medications cost me just $3.50!  Lastly, you can buy some antibiotics over-the-counter.  That isn’t a good idea!
13. On the same theme, hospitals here are only for providing medical care.  Hospitals rely on a patient’s family members to go buy the prescribed medications for staff to administer, to bring in meals, provide bedding, and help with self-care tasks.  Maybe they hold the solution to lowering our healthcare costs?  (Said tongue-in-cheek!)
14. Auto repair:  Just as hospitals do not provide medicines, auto shops do not provide auto parts.  Your mechanic will diagnose the problem, give you a list of parts to buy, you go and buy them, and he’ll fix your vehicle once you bring the parts back. On the up side of this, car repairs are MUCH cheaper here!
15. Skin color: Historically this has been a big deal in the US, and it continues to be so for some reason.  Here in Honduras, however, skin color differences are no big deal.  Lest you think, “Yeah, well, they are all the same color!” let me tell you, you’re wrong!  The influence of the Spaniards, African Americans, Chinese, and Arabs is evident here.  The great thing, though, is nobody cares what color you are, and, culturally, people just call things as they see them.  Your wife has a darker skin color than yours?  Well, it’s OK to call her “mi negrita” (my little black one).  Or, you’re trying to describe a co-worker—who is a little on the heavy side—to a friend, so of course you describe him as “el gordo”—the fat one.  No worries!  From my US culture perspective, this honesty seemed offensive at first, but now I find it quite freeing!  You don’t have to be constantly on your guard lest you offend someone!

    

    This is a picture from my visit in August 2014.

16. Ants!  In Michigan, who hasn’t had ants invade their house in the summertime?  Well, since it’s always like summer here, we always have ants. Thankfully, the bigger ones are harmless, but the itty-bitty ones in the kitchen are enough to make me crazy!  They occasionally are so audacious as to chew through my bags of cereal and have a veritable feast.  If this were to happen in MI, I would, of course, throw out the bag of cereal.  Here, however, we don’t waste food, and my house mom knows that if you put the cereal on a tray out in the sun for a few hours, the ants will all leave, and then you can still eat the cereal.  Yup.  I’ve eaten ate-chewed cereal and lived to tell about it!
17. Rules of the road: I know I’ve touched on this a little bit already, but recently I learned the rules for letting emergency vehicles pass.  Like in the States, on a single lane road, you are supposed to move to the right, but here, on a two lane road, both lanes of traffic are supposed to move to the shoulders allowing the ambulance to pass down the middle.  Here, pulling over doesn’t mean slowing down or stopping, it just means moving over!  

    

    The Catholic church in Santa Lucia

Different: Michigan vs. Honduras Part 1

Since I've been here, I've been working on this post of observations.  The list has grown quite long, so I'll post the second part at another time!  I don't really have pictures to go with this post, so I've included some random ones!  Enjoy!

Normal 7:00 a.m. traffic.

1. Cell phones.  I don’t know all of the ins and outs of cell phones here nor there, but here I haven’t heard of anyone paying a monthly amount for unlimited use.  Everyone buys minutes as they need them.
2. McDonald’s sets up kiosks in shopping areas where all they sell is ice cream.  This is wise since ice cream is the only thing worth buying there!  OK, I know that’s just my opinion, but I think it’s an excellent idea!
3. Women here must REALLY like to suffer!  Why else would they walk the mall in six inch platform heels?!
4. There is no air conditioning in the majority of public buildings or vehicles, so you never have to worry about freezing inside when it’s hot outside like in Michigan.  On the other side of the coin, you are guaranteed to sweat!
5. It’s totally normal for men to walk around with their shirts pulled up over their bellies—kinda like the 70’s when men wore crop tops!  This always cracks me up!
6. Breast feeding in public without covering yourself is absolutely no big deal, even while walking around the mall or grocery store or sitting in church.

   

   Here's where I've gotten to hang out for hours every two months to renew my visa--office of immigration.

7. This is an outdoor culture, and buildings aren’t constructed to keep out sound or to maintain an even temperature via heaters or air conditioners.  Therefore, you can hear everything going on in the neighborhood: the man who hacks up phlegm loudly every morning, the mother yelling at her child, the dogs barking and howling, and the whole church service from down on the corner!  Hallelujah!
8. Churros here are chips like Doritos, Fritos, or potato chips.  What we and the Mexicans think of as churros—the fried, cinnamon bread shaped like a straw—here are called American Churros.  Hmmmmm…go figure that one out!  I’m pretty sure they should be called Mexican Churros!
9. Here people go to the mall to enjoy the eateries because not very many people can afford to shop in the stores.  I think in Michigan, people go to the mall to shop and only eat at the food courts out of convenience, not because the food is that good.
10. Perhaps this goes without saying, but there’s no flushing toilet paper here, ever.
11. I would say that 95% of the roads do not have names, or if they do, they are not marked.  Here everyone gives directions “like a woman.”—“Turn right just after you pass the Espresso Americano, go past the Farmacia Pronto, and it’s the second building after the big blue door on your left.”  Seriously.  Even mailing addresses are like that.  Here’s the one for where our school is: Colonia Era Oriental, 3 blocks up from the taxi stand, Across from the Ferreteria Lempira.  Seriously.

    

    Randomly cool Mickey Mouse looking squash(?).

12. I’ve yet to encounter a straight north-south, east-west road here.  Every road is winding.  That’s life in the mountains of Tegucigalpa.
13. The space between two lanes of traffic or on the side of the roads is for motorcycles.  Duh.
14. The weather is boring, so people don’t really talk about it much except when it rains or is cloudy—that’s something to get excited about!  Here, 70 degrees is cold, and you should put on a sweater or jacket; gloves and a hat aren’t a bad idea either!
15. Instead of trucks going through the neighborhoods plowing snow, we have trucks going through the neighborhoods spraying for mosquitos.  Likewise, instead of snow days or fog delays, we close the school early so they can fumigate or because it’s so terribly hot.  One day, school was closed because of political protests in the city.
16. Grocery stores have a lot less variety and are very focused on the staples: rice, beans, oil, salt, margarine, chicken, mantequilla (like a funky sour cream), dry cheese, tortillas, and sugar in any form you can imagine.  Of course, stores in Michigan don’t have exotic fruits like rambutan or mangosteen, either!

    

    Just a super cute picture of Eli!  

Honduras: Your New Travel Destination!

Rainbow at the base of Pulhapanzák falls

When you think of getting away to a tropical paradise for a luxury vacation, what destinations come to mind?  What about if you want to go hiking and camping through virgin rain-forests, rafting down rivers, or snorkeling/scuba diving?  Maybe you’re into seeing how coffee, tobacco, and tropical fruits are grown and harvested, or would love to go fishing in the Caribbean Sea.  Even better, how about getting away to an almost deserted tropical island for a time of total relaxation?

If you’re like I was before moving to Honduras, I had NO CLUE that all of this was possible here.  Actually, until I was able to do some traveling this summer with my local travel agent friend, Jalile, I only knew what I’d read about in my travel guide.  Being in the city all the time with the mountains at a distance, it was hard to believe that there could be such natural beauty here.  Boy was I in for a surprise!  Tropical beaches, rain forests, cloud forests, an inland lake, a stunning waterfall, and Mayan ruins all delighted my senses!

Honduras is absolutely beautiful!  Yes, you may say, but it’s so dangerous.  Well, that is mostly in the big cities.  Obviously, just as you would be in the US, you should be careful anywhere you go, but the people in the smaller towns and villages are typically very friendly and helpful.  Just last week one of our visitors accidentally left her iPhone in a souvenir shop in the quaint, little town of Valle de Ángeles.  When she realized she didn’t have it, she retraced her steps, and the shop keeper had kindly tucked it away for her.  Like in so many places in our world, the miscreants create a bad name for the majority when truly, the majority are honest, hard-working, delightful people! 

Obviously I haven’t traveled all over the entire country, but I can assure you that I have seen more of it than most of the locals here.  That makes me sad; I would love to take them all and show them how breathtakingly beautiful their homeland is!  Here are some pictures to give you a taste, and if they plant in your heart the desire to come and see for yourself, I highly recommend that you seek help from my friend Jalile!  She is fluent in English and can make all the arrangements for you.  You can reach her at:  http://www.hondurasturismo.com/   She’ll have her webpage up in English soon!

Sun kissed pine forests

God paints beauty in the cities, too!

Tropical Paradise--Roatán

Roatan--one of the world's best scuba diving destinations

Punta Sal, Caribbean Ocean

Jungle hike near Lake Yojoa

Indio Desnudo (the name of the tree)

Early morning on Lake Yojoa

Chilling in a hammock at Punta Sal

Pulhapanzák Falls

Copán Ruinas--Mayan Ruins in Copán

Cloud Forest at La Tigra National Park

Water. Rain. Jesus. Life.

I wrote most of this post a couple months ago.  Since then it's been dry again--until tonight when it rained, and I was reminded of how refreshing the rain is!  

Last week it started to rain for the first time in over a month.  And it rained and it rained.  As the rain fell, I instantly felt myself relax.  No longer were my eyes squinting in the bright sun-light.  No longer was everything covered in red dust.  The rain brought refreshment and rest.   No longer were there dust clouds as we bumped along the dirt road to church.  No longer were the pine-covered mountains brown and smoking from fires.  No longer were farmers anxious that their crops wouldn’t grow.  It’s so like water to do that; to restore hope and bring life.

It’s just like Jesus talks about in the Bible.  He is our living water, our wellspring of life, our very source, and our sustenance.  If we turn to him when we’re going through dust storms in our lives or just feeling burned out and used up, he promises to soothe and comfort us.  It’s no coincidence that he chose a well—the source of life-giving water—as the place to minister to the Samaritan woman who had had five husbands.  He used water to restore sight to the blind man, and if we could just dip our toes into the pool of Bethesda, we, too, could be healed.

The rain trickles down slowly at first, and then becomes a steady cascade.  The rain fills the buckets set out to collect it and fills our hearts with the promise of new growth.  It washes the dust off from the plants and their fruits, off from the streets and houses, and it cleanses us, too, from the inside out. Thank you, Jesus, that when we feel our wells are drying up, we only have to turn to you and you pour into us and fill us with your living water!

On a less metaphorical note, water is something we too easily take for granted.  We assume that when we flush a toilet or turn on a faucet that there will be water there.  Shoot.  In the USA, we not only expect to have water, but we expect that it will be the exact temperature that we want it to be.  When the hot water heater fails, it becomes an urgent matter to get it fixed.  First world problems.  To be honest, I am super fortunate and blessed where I am living in Honduras, and I don’t mean just the city I’m living in, I mean the very neighborhood.  Some higher power here has control over the on/off valves that send water to homes and businesses.  Where I live, we have a huge holding tank, so even when the water is off for a couple days, we are fine.  I’ve only been without water for showering a couple times, and I almost always have hot water for my shower thanks to an electric shower head.  Others are not so fortunate.  

At school, I often overhear conversations related to water.  “We finally got water again.  It’s been 8 days.”  Or, 12 days, or 20.  How on earth does one function with no running water for 3 weeks?!  Well, if you have money and a holding tank, you can have a tanker truck come to your house and fill your holding tank, but, let’s be honest: most people here can’t afford to buy water.  Instead, they have big plastic barrels, and stacks of five gallon buckets.  When the water comes on, they fill every receptacle they possibly can, and even if it’s 12:00 midnight, they set to work washing the dirty clothes that have been piling up, just waiting….and waiting….and waiting for the water to come on.  You can’t wash clothes by hand without the assurance of plenty of water; it simply takes too much.  But, as days pass without water, there has to be an alternative.  That alternative is gathering up all your dirty laundry, jumping on a bus, and going for a hike to the river to wash your clothes there.  Yes.  Really.  Third world, capital city problem.  The point is, though, when the water doesn’t come to the people, they go and search it out.

What if we were like that with our relationship with God?  What if we didn’t take his presence in our lives for granted?  What if we filled our holding tanks—our hearts—to overflowing with him every day so that we could pour out that love to others?  What if when we didn’t sense him coming to us, we searched him out?  What if we let him clean us and satiate our thirst?  What if……?