Tug-of-War

Cutting into my Welcome Back cake!

 In my last blog post before I went back to Michigan in November of 2015, I wrote about the meaning of “home.”  Coming back to Honduras a couple weeks ago gave me a whole new appreciation for what it means to come home, and what a joyful homecoming it has been!  How beautiful to have my host mom greet me with a warm embrace and to share happy tears with me!  How comforting to settle back into my room and to know where to put everything as I unpacked in my sleep-deprived stupor!  How heart-warming to have students run exuberantly toward me, shouting “Miss Amy” as they wrapped their arms around me!  Oh, indeed, it has been so good to be back in Honduras and to know where I fit in the puzzle of life here!

With some of the teachers and friends from Michigan

So, if I fit into the puzzle of life here, why am I going back to Michigan so soon?  Three weeks have passed all too quickly, and having just five left does not seem like enough time.  And, these are not just my sentiments, but those of everyone around me.  Students, teachers, and the ministry’s directors almost daily fill my ears with, “Why do you have to go so soon?”  and “What are we going to do without you?”  It’s so easy to get caught up in this flood of appreciation and feeling needed, and I find myself daily having to turn to God for his guidance and direction for my life.  Like I’ve said to so many people, I feel like my heart is in the middle of a tug-of-war game—Michigan vs. Honduras—and either team could win!  While here listening to the pleas from Team Honduras, I must not forget that back in Michigan, there is an even bigger team routing for me, and their voices matter too.

I'm so glad to have this cute elf on my Michigan team!

We all face uncertain futures, but I feel like I’m at a point where I really need to set aside my own desires and to discern God’s will for me.  Should I stay longer in Honduras, and if so, how much longer?  Should I return to Michigan as planned, and if so, where will I find employment? I’m praying for God to make it absolutely clear in which direction my next steps will take me.  Will you please join me in praying for guidance?  Thank you…your prayers mean so much!

"In this great time of change, help me, God of tomorrow, to trust your guiding presence.  Inspire me to follow in the footsteps of the ancient desert nomads who wore tiny lamps on their shoes to give just enough light for the next step.  All I really need."